here is a piece of light hearted good news: prince charles the wiener dog my mom is fostering stole her panini from starbucks but he doesn’t have any teeth so after trying to eat it he just rested his head on top of the warm panini
We trained the dog so that when he wants out, he goes to the front door and waits.
Somehow in his little golden retriever brain, he interpreted this to mean “go to the front door, and lick it.”
If he’s at the door, but isn’t licking it, he doesn’t need out, he’s just chilling.
So, this was our routine – when he wants out, he goes to the front door, and licks it. And then we moved house, and he got very, very confused.
He knew he had to go to the front door when he wants out, but this was a new house with obviously a door that was completely new to him.
Despite our condo having only one door that leads outside, and him going out this very same door literally at least five times a day, every day, for about a year…he still has no idea where the front door is in this house. Absolutely no idea at all.
Now whenever he needs out, he will go to any random door and start licking it. And I mean any door – the bathroom door, my bedroom door, my closet, the goddamn door of a kitchen cabinet, even.
I don’t know if he’s really smart or really dumb. Because clearly, he understands conceptually what a door is. I don’t know if he thinks my closet or the kitchen cabinets lead to outside, or if he’s just hoping to find doggy Narnia, or if he’s just hopelessly given up on ever being able to find the door by himself and is just doing the best he can, but every goddamn time he wants out, he’s right there licking the glass door to the shower or something.
He doesn’t alert us he needs out any other way. So if you haven’t seen him in a while, you have to search room by room until you find him with his tongue pressed up against the linen closet because he thinks outside might be that way.
He’s the biggest, dumbest dog I have ever met in my life and I could not love him any more. He’s perfect.
Here he is, patiently licking the door of my wardrobe.
“I always told myself that when I reached a certain point in life, I’d get a dog. I thought maybe when I get my own home. Or when I’m more settled. But that point never seemed to come. So I decided to go ahead and adopt. The majority of the dogs at the pound were pit bulls. I originally wanted a younger dog, but this one had a red card on her cage, which meant that she was going to be euthanized. She was emaciated and had kennel cough. But when I reached out my hand, she licked it. I named her ‘Adidas’ because I wanted a running partner. But that dream ended pretty early. All she wants to do is hug and kiss and lay on you. She doesn’t care who you are. If she senses that you’re the least bit receptive to her, she’s coming right toward you. Just a few minutes ago she jumped into somebody’s wheelchair. It’s made me more of a people person. I’m always having to explain to people why she’s trying to kiss them.”
326 Miles 