Alright look I’m only gonna say this once so you sit there and you listen.
It is okay to like One Direction.
They make good pop music. They are talented singers. They are compelling live performers. And even if they weren’t any of those things they would still be a viable thing for you to like because you can like… whatever the fuck… you want to like… until the end of time.
I appreciate that a year ago this month we all, the collective Girl Of Refined Taste, decided to fuck the patriarchy and all the internalized misogyny it forced upon us to love Taylor Swift – that was a good moment and a needed moment and I am thrilled that it happened. But every time a girl is ashamed to secretively tell me she’s been enjoying One Direction in some way I am reminded that our journey is by no means done.
If things continue to go the way they have been the back half of this year with this band, there could very reasonably be a time somewhere in the not terribly distant future will men will try to take them from us. Nasty, bearded little fuckbags behind desks at Pitchfork and Stereogum writing think pieces claiming that because One Direction “got good” they are making a move to leave their “teeny bopper” fan base behind. But this year – this time – for all the 16 year old girls at the Cavern Club in 1961 – we’re not gonna let that happen.
Because we know that by “teeny bopper” they mean women and by “got good” they mean “finally got obvious enough to the point where I, a completely average and unremarkable 35 year old white man, could no longer ignore them.” And because we’re tired – TIRED I TELL YOU – of trying to pretend that that doe-eyed, curly-headed, crooning oak tree of a sex god isn’t one of the biggest fucking rock stars of our time! Trying to pretend we’re some fringe group of weirdos clinging to a child’s toy when in fact we are REAL, VIABLE MUSIC FANS numbering in the MILLIONS who have heard good music and seen good performers and have responded in kind.
So by all means. Like Harry Styles. In the subsequent relief you feel you will come to understand how fucking DRAINING it had been to NOT like him all this time. And while you’re at it, listen to Four. Watch Drag Me Down. Watch Live While We’re Young. EXPLORE THIS PLACE. For it is BEAUTIFUL. And filled with GORGEOUS WOMEN supporting and LOVING each other. Not to mention four terribly charming young men who UNDERSTAND AND REVERE OUR POWER. In other words, it is a wonderful fucking place to be.
WELL, and if u will allow me the liberty to PROJECT and SPECULATE WILDLY, it just like, doesn’t surprise me even the TEENIEST TINIEST LITTLE BIT, upon closer examination, that harry styles, he of big but fickle heart, loves a CITY so much he decides to tell everyone about it. HARRY, who has carefully protected himself for lo these many years by not publicly committing to ANYTHING REMOTELY RESEMBLING A STRONG (AND THEREFORE POTENTIALLY MESSY) HUMAN EMOTION if he can avoid it, unambiguously declares his longstanding first-teenage-love for not another person but a HUGE BUSTLING AMBITIOUS CITY. OF COURSE HE DOES!!!!! falling in love with a CITY when you’re FLIGHTY but HEARTFELT is the perfect thing to do, because a city is whatever you want it to be and you can be whatever you want in it and you get to enjoy all the perks of feeling strongly attached and belonging to something without anyone ever having to go out on a limb or to potentially be hurt or cause hurt to someone else. because he can flit away from a city when he wants to and it will still be waiting for him when he decides to come back and he can find any infinite number of changing diversions and interests in it and he can make what he wants out of it and grow in it and immerse himself in it enough that he sort of fades into it and belongs in it and feels safe in it and he can make a lil magpie nest of shiny and comfortable things he likes within it and rest assured that they’ll be safe and waiting for him when he wants or needs to fuck off somewhere else for a while and then come back, in a way that other humans are generally not capable of doing. FALLING IN LUV with a CITY instead of a PERSON is the most harry styles-y thing i can think of and it feels very right and true, GOD BLESS THIS SWEET LITTLE DINGUS WITH LOTS OF LOVE TO GIVE BUT NOT MUCH SENSE ON HOW TO GIVE IT!!!!
326 Miles 