World Cup 2026. Literally every national team is banned, even parts of the US national team. Cristiano Ronaldo is being held up by the TSA because he’s too tan. Özil is being interviewed. “You’re Muslim?” “Yes. And German.” “No but you’re Muslim.” “Yes… and German.” “But… you’re Muslim…” Messi is being detained because, sure he’s white enough, but why can’t he speak English?
Trump thought it was going to be a lot easier since Syria never qualifies….
The World Cup final is what’s left of USA vs Russia. They both lose.
“That’s right!!! This is the United States of America! We speak English not Spanish! So get out of our country and take your Mexican hombres with you!!!” Neymar looks around at his Brazilian teammates in confusion.
2026, L.A. Spain comes prepared to win their second star, to snatch the WC yet again while under the scrutinizing yet unsuspecting scope of the entire world. The travel ban is no match for La Furia Roja, they think. Sergio Ramos and Gerard Piqué are stopped by TSA after arguing on an airplane for ten hours.
“Passports, please.”
The Spaniard and the Catalan pull out their respective documentation. The TSA agent frowns and then looks up at them.
“You gentlemen can’t enter the United States of America. It would be violating the travel ban.”
Ramos and Piqué exchange a glance.
“But we’re Spanish–” Ramos starts in his heavily accented English.
“CATALAN–” Piqué interrupts him in his also heavily accented English.
“From Spain.” Ramos finishes. “The ban does not apply to us.”
“Hmm, yes,” The TSA agent pauses, surveying both men languidly, impassive to Pique’s brooding, threatening brow, and Ramos’ quickly festering agitation. “But in America we speak English, not Spanish. Sorry. No Mexicans allowed.”
The men look at the TSA agent with blank expressions; their previous frustration fades into disappointment, anguish, confusion. Behind them, the rest of their team gasps in shock. In America they speak English, they said, in America there is no Spanish. Or Catalan. Only English. Héctor Bellerín takes a snap. Stopped by TSA, it says, can’t get into the States. Thiago Alcantara tries telling TSA he is actually Brazilian, but to no avail. There will be no second star for Spain, there will be no World Cup, they will be forced to leave before even arriving. Iker Casillas sheds a tear from wherever he is. Olé.
the year is 2026, Switzerland is ready to beat the odds and prove their worth,maybe even win the world cup..they land in the united states ready to take the world of sports by storm .
the TSA agent spots them and comes running,he first lays eyes on Granit Xhaka ..”exc-”,Xhaka knows what’s coming so he doesn’t even let him finish, he calls the TSA agent a “fucking white bitch” and they all head back .. they aim for 2030.
326 Miles 