Tag: lolz

kramergate:

kramergate:

you ever think about how funny Devil Went Down to Georgia really is? conceptually? people are being so good I guess that the devil himself is strapped for souls and decides to scrape the bottom of that holy barrel. throws a dart at a map and is like “Georgia it is I suppose” cause I know he didn’t pick that on purpose. goes down to Georgia as it were and just picks the first kid he sees. how old is Johnny? I like to think 11 or so. doesn’t matter. the only way the devil knows how to run shit is with battle of the bands style rules. picks the fiddle because that’s just what he happens to have on hand in solid gold I guess. he just so happens to pick a child fiddle prodigy. what did you expect? its Georgia bitch Johnny doesn’t have anything better to do. so the devil gets his big red ass spanked. and then a child calls him a son of a bitch

thanks for coming to my ted talk

theonion:

SCOTTSBLUFF, NE—Saying they could now fully explore their hypothesis that you deserve way better, scientists at the corner table of Marty’s Pub received a four-beer grant Thursday to complete their analysis on why he’s not good enough for you. According to the researchers, the much-needed infusion of alcohol will enable them to definitively prove that he doesn’t treat you right and that this relationship needs to end now because he’s all that’s holding you back from being happy. With the data evaluated, the bar table scientists told reporters that they could then offer recommendations for applying their research, including going on a date with Marc, who’s really great even if he’s a little awkward. At press time, the scientists’ groundbreaking study had earned them a prestigious award for being the best fucking friends anyone could have, which also garnered them a generous four-shot prize.