sashayed:

OKAY SO THIS WAS INCREDIBLY CHALLENGING!! Usually the fun challenge of “how would you style ___?” is trying to figure out what the original stylist’s goal was/would be and then going from there. BUT i have no f u c k i n g clue what LM’s stylist was going for with this mess. “4 beautiful women forced to rifle the Project Runway discard bin.” I assume it was going for a “Shout Out to My Ex” vibe of like “fuck you I’ll wear WHAT EVER and my natural beauty will only highlight how unattractive it is to you?” Like a kind of man-repeller thing? But I would have said there was too much skin on display to really commit to being Repellent. so who knows. literally the most you can say of it is that it’s mostly not over-accessorized, but that’s because each dress was such a tacky shambles that it managed to over-accessorize ITSELF. The best I could rework it was this:

to:

jade has the only half-decent look in the bunch so we’ll just keep that shimmery 70s slip dress – i went with one from halston heritage – and trash the GLOVES (WHY!!).  you could do a long lasso necklace if u wanted. gianvito rossi shoes.

perrie’s look is unflattering in such a basic way that even the reveal of the open sides couldn’t disappoint me into more than a weary frown. i’m replacing it with this alex perry dress: the cutouts are cute and the long sleeves are a much weirder and more interesting way to play with length than that showgirl-looking hi-low disaster. it might still be terrible but at least it would be FUN terrible. marco de vincenzo marabou sandals, sophia webster “girl gang” clutch.

leigh. leigh, i don’t even know where to begin with this catastrophe. i’m going to assume that leigh-anne will literally die if she doesn’t wear denim, bc there’s no other excuse for this. if we absolutely MUST do that, can we not do it in the LITERAL UGLIEST POSSIBLE WAY? this paper london dress is kind of boring, and it’s those two awful late-90s denim colors, but it’s also kind of cute and funny & the silhouette is sexy. or like, look at this alena akhmadullina, which at least is COHERENT in its busyness. jesus christ, even this carolina herrera would be better, i mean, sure, it looks like Casual Friday at the Cowboy Bordello, but at least the shape would be flattering. lord give me patience. jimmy choo shoes, rosantica necklace.

i don’t even have any energy left to be mad at jesy, whose theme seems to have been “s&m-y black leather that is doing too much.” in which case, like, couldn’t it have done too much in an interesting way??? whatever, she can wear mcqueen and the pattern will look cute with her tattoo and i’m SICK of THINKING ABOUT this. sophia webster shoes. go to your room ladies and think about what you’ve done.