#like opening a tinned ham #‘how the hell did somebody get all this meat in here’ #like using a shoehorn to get a porterhouse into a baby sandal #shoving ten pounds of bulgogi into the elevator of the Barbie dream house #I think you get my point #it’s an improbable container for this specific caloric load #and I’m here for it (@robotmango)
Tag: chris evans
Chris Evans, star of Gifted and Captain America, has been revealed as the latest in the stellar-line up of CBeebies Bedtime Story readers.
Chris reads Even Superheroes Have Bad Days, by Shelly Becker and Eda Kaban, which has lots of fun ideas to help little ones cope when they’re feeling overwhelmed. All children have trouble getting a grip on their emotions, sometimes even young superheroes! Chris tells the tale of how they can channel their energies.
Chris Evans says: “I’m honoured to be the next guest on CBeebies Bedtime Stories which is such a special show. I hope families have as much fun watching as I had reading!”
Chris Evans, star of Gifted and Captain America, has been revealed as the latest in the stellar-line up of CBeebies Bedtime Story readers.
Chris reads Even Superheroes Have Bad Days, by Shelly Becker and Eda Kaban, which has lots of fun ideas to help little ones cope when they’re feeling overwhelmed. All children have trouble getting a grip on their emotions, sometimes even young superheroes! Chris tells the tale of how they can channel their energies.
Chris Evans says: “I’m honoured to be the next guest on CBeebies Bedtime Stories which is such a special show. I hope families have as much fun watching as I had reading!”
Chris Evans photographed by Paul Jasmin for L’Uomo Vogue (April 2017)
Chris Evans for L’Uomo Vogue April 2017
“In my own life, I have a deep connection with my family and the value of those bonds. I’ve always loved stories about people who put their families before themselves. It’s such a noble endeavor. You can’t choose your family, as opposed to friends. Especially in L.A. You really get to see how friendships are put to the test; it stirs everyone’s egos. But if something goes south with a friend, you have the option to say we’re not friends anymore. Your family—that’s your family. Trying to make that system work and trying to make it not just functional but actually enjoyable is a really challenging endeavor, and that’s certainly how it is with my family.“ – Chris Evans photographed by Mark Segal for Esquire Magazine’s April 2017 issue.
this photoshoot was literally sent by Satan to punish ME SPECIFICALLY and i’ll tell you why: because these are pictures not of Your Hot Goofy Boyfriend, Chris Evans, but of Your Sexy and Reliable Husband, Chris Evans, Who Swore Before Your Friends and Families and God to Care for You Forever and Meant It. Your husband Chris Evans likes to listen to old Dinah Washington records while doing the dishes. Your husband Chris Evans loves to make breakfast but never touches the coffeemaker because he’s weirdly convinced that he doesn’t know how to use it. Your husband Chris Evans always smells like detergent and Kiehl’s. Your husband Chris Evans is learning to refinish furniture from Youtube so all your kitchen chairs are stained different colors because he hasn’t decided which one he likes best and “it’s a process.” Your husband Chris Evans loves it when you scratch his head while he’s reading the newspaper. (Your husband Chris Evans insists on continuing to subscribe to a physical newspaper.) Your husband Chris Evans is considering buying a kayak. Your husband Chris Evans is finally after like 8 years finishing his dissertation on Samuel Beckett’s use of parataxis and hypotaxis and he likes to read passages aloud to the dog because it “helps him think.” (“Per Adorno, paratactical strategies permit the emergence of an aesthetic unity that knows itself to be inconclusive,” croons your husband Chris Evans in his gooboy voice as the dog drools adoringly on his face. “Don’t they? Yes, they do.”) Your husband Chris Evans insisted you spring for a land line when you bought your house because “real houses have phones in them” and you were like, this is a real house and we already have two phones in it, and your husband Chris Evans was like “not cell phones“ with that grossed-out hippie face he gets when he’s thinking about how modern technology is invasive and how he wants to be more present in life, and you were like LOL eyeroll, but then he got his arms around you and was like “i want a phone so people can call us at our house,” and you JUST KNEW he was thinking about when you have kids, and you were like, Ohh, God.
#My Husband Chris Evans Tries A Lush Bath Bomb For The First Time And Won’t Get Out Of The Bath For 2 Hours#my husband chris evans responds to my ‘i’m a handful’ with ‘i have two hands’#my husband chris evans texts memes to my sister to maintain their healthy and friendly relationship#my husband chris evans is really bad at folding laundry and always loses one sock from each pair#my husband chris evans has a really good spaghetti sauce recipe#my husband chris evans reads my horoscope out loud every morning#and when i ask about his he shrugs and says ‘it’ll be a good day’ and i say ‘how do you know’ and he looks up at me and blushes
Although their romantic relationship ended earlier this year, the Gifted costars have remained friends and share genuine respect and admiration for one other.
“She’s my favorite human,” Evans tells PEOPLE of Slate. “She’s the best. I’ve never ever ever met someone in my life who has a mastery of the English language the way she does. She’ll give you one sentence and there’s no fat to it. You’re like, ‘You just chose such an unbelievable collection of words that beautifully articulate what you say.’
“It’s like an art form talking with her, because the visuals associated with her expression are just so colorful,” he continues. “She’s so vulnerable, so honest, so interested in other people more than herself, she’s incredibly compassionate, there’s just nothing to not love about her.”
“In my own life, I have a deep connection with my family and the value of those bonds. I’ve always loved stories about people who put their families before themselves. It’s such a noble endeavor. You can’t choose your family, as opposed to friends. Especially in L.A. You really get to see how friendships are put to the test; it stirs everyone’s egos. But if something goes south with a friend, you have the option to say we’re not friends anymore. Your family—that’s your family. Trying to make that system work and trying to make it not just functional but actually enjoyable is a really challenging endeavor, and that’s certainly how it is with my family.“ – Chris Evans photographed by Mark Segal for Esquire Magazine’s April 2017 issue.
this photoshoot was literally sent by Satan to punish ME SPECIFICALLY and i’ll tell you why: because these are pictures not of Your Hot Goofy Boyfriend, Chris Evans, but of Your Sexy and Reliable Husband, Chris Evans, Who Swore Before Your Friends and Families and God to Care for You Forever and Meant It. Your husband Chris Evans likes to listen to old Dinah Washington records while doing the dishes. Your husband Chris Evans loves to make breakfast but never touches the coffeemaker because he’s weirdly convinced that he doesn’t know how to use it. Your husband Chris Evans always smells like detergent and Kiehl’s. Your husband Chris Evans is learning to refinish furniture from Youtube so all your kitchen chairs are stained different colors because he hasn’t decided which one he likes best and “it’s a process.” Your husband Chris Evans loves it when you scratch his head while he’s reading the newspaper. (Your husband Chris Evans insists on continuing to subscribe to a physical newspaper.) Your husband Chris Evans is considering buying a kayak. Your husband Chris Evans is finally after like 8 years finishing his dissertation on Samuel Beckett’s use of parataxis and hypotaxis and he likes to read passages aloud to the dog because it “helps him think.” (“Per Adorno, paratactical strategies permit the emergence of an aesthetic unity that knows itself to be inconclusive,” croons your husband Chris Evans in his gooboy voice as the dog drools adoringly on his face. “Don’t they? Yes, they do.”) Your husband Chris Evans insisted you spring for a land line when you bought your house because “real houses have phones in them” and you were like, this is a real house and we already have two phones in it, and your husband Chris Evans was like “not cell phones“ with that grossed-out hippie face he gets when he’s thinking about how modern technology is invasive and how he wants to be more present in life, and you were like LOL eyeroll, but then he got his arms around you and was like “i want a phone so people can call us at our house,” and you JUST KNEW he was thinking about when you have kids, and you were like, Oh, God.
Petition for Chris Evans to put on the captain America outfit and physically fight Donald trump
If you follow his twitter, I think he is like *this close*
326 Miles 