agonyandagony:

assuming these chuckleheads ever trick anyone into marrying them, i figure it’ll go like this:

NIALL has a very wholesome affair back home, maybe at a nice church. traditional ascots n shit. probably the reception is at a country club or something, and everyone gets VERY drunk and he spends the whole night red-facedly slinging his arms around ppl’s necks telling them how much he loves them.

LOUIS, i can’t decide if he either elopes to vegas with no warning and then comes back like SURPRISE BITCHES, EVERYONE OWES ME PRESENTS!!!! and everyone’s like HAHA and he’s like BUT REALLY 🙂 🙂 :), or if he goes full bridezilla and makes everyone aggressively want to murder him through 18 months of onerous planning, except then he cries during the ceremony A LOT (and vigorously denies it afterward) so no one can really stay mad after that. “I DIDN’T CRY YOU FUCKS!!!!” he shrieks afterward while you indulgently pat his head.

LIAM, left to his own devices, would prob have a very standard church / hotel / “i wrote you a song that i will sing during the reception that should be embarrassing for everyone to witness affair except it’s actually somehow kind of cute” deal, only i can also see him getting roped into some pinteresty mess at the behest of his future intended, and he just LOVES THEM SO MUCH that he goes with it enthusiastically until he suddenly has a LOT OF FEELINGS about RECLAIMED BARNS AS A VENUE and stays up all night learning how to reglaze antique mason jars a subtle rose color for all the centerpieces and trying to decide if he can sew bunting from vintage tablecloths (he can’t).

ZAYN maybe has the kind of TASTEFULLY but AGGRESSIVELY OPULENT wedding that makes you feel a LIL BAD about yourself because it’s so effortlessly luxe, and if you’re a guest you spend the whole night pulling at your dress because IS IT THE RIGHT ONE? IT’S PROBABLY NOT. shoulda gotten something sparklier, something more beyonce-er. is beyonce here, actually?? she might be. zayn ghosts from the reception after an hour and no one hears from him for 5 days until he instagrams a captionless, heavily-filtered selfie of himself on a beach in fiji. no one knew he was going to fiji. did you know he was going to fiji???

it should be clear that HARRY has the kind of earnestly barefoot handfasting-on-a-beachside-cliff-overlooking-the-pacific-at-sunset nonsense affair that kind of makes you want to punch him, but also clutch him to your chest at the same time. he’s not wearing shoes but he is wearing a $7k st. laurent crocheted blouse exposing his chest down to the navel, and all the food is very small and vegetarian. also he can’t stop crying. if it was anyone else, you would push him off the cliff, especially when his vows involve ringing handbells for some fool reason, but he’s so damn earnest about it that’s it’s okay. you’re not even mad about the tiny rabbit food. you can get a burger on the way home.

harryfuckmeup:

Liam: “Trust me I am doing this for the public good”
Louis: “I don’t actually have a plan I just wanted to do something evil and fun”
Niall: *evil laughter and the weird cough afterwards*
Harry: “We’re not so different,you and i” *pets cat*

corpidicarta:

This band is like one of those Wattpad fics where the author loses any trace creativity after chapter 4, so they keep writing absurdities and making up unlikely plot twists till nothing makes sense and there is no logical endgame and no cohesiveness. This band is pretty little liars.