for some reason I’m really indulging the side of myself that loves crackfic lately (before wading back into angst). here’s one of a ridiculous series of flash drabbles based on results from @sashayed’s Random 2015 1D Events Generator.
*
Harry will write a solo album about a collection of baubles.
Harry waits two whole days after sending the file to ring Niall.
“Well?” he asks anxiously when Niall picks up. “Did you listen to it?”
Niall clears his throat. “Uh, yeah, I did.”
“And?” says Harry, impatient.
“Well,” says Niall. “It’s – um, just out of curiosity, does Jeff know what you’ve been working on?”
“I asked him to let me lay down some tracks before he listened,” Harry says. “So I could have, like, total artistic freedom and all that. It was so liberating, Niall. Felt like I could finally just write about the stuff that matters to me, you know?”
“Huh,” Niall says. “Right. And – just want to make sure I listened to the right file, it’s called – ”
“Stuff From My Flat,” Harry says proudly. “I mean, all the songs are just demos right now, but I think it’s going to sound sick once I get a proper backing track.”
There’s a long silence on the other end. Harry shakes his phone a little, in case it’s bad service or something, then puts it back up to his ear.
“I wonder if it’ll be hard to break into the American market,” Niall says finally. “‘Cos they don’t really say flat there.”
“I did think that,” says Harry, “but it’s like, what would I call it instead? Stuff From My LA Mansion? It wouldn’t be true, is the thing. All the songs are about things I have in London, ‘cos that’s where I wrote it. That’s like, where my inspiration comes from.”
“Right,” says Niall. There’s another long silence.
“Do you not like it?” Harry feels a creeping sense of doubt. “Is it the tempo? I can change that, that’s easy.”
“No, the tempo’s fine,” Niall says. “It’s just, ah. Pretty different from our old stuff. You know, content-wise.”
“Oh,” Harry says.
“Like, there’s not much on here about love,” says Niall. “Or kissing someone, or wanting to chat up a girl but not being able to ‘cos her boyfriend’s got twenty-seven tattoos, that kind of thing.”
“I guess that’s true,” Harry says slowly.
“Actually,” Niall says, “all the songs are just songs about things.”
“That’s why it’s called Stuff From My Flat.” Harry doesn’t get why they’re having so much trouble communicating right now. “But you liked them, right? Which was your favorite?”
“Maybe you should call Jeff first,” says Niall. “And then let me know what he says.”
“Tell me your favorite first,” Harry says. “Just, were there any that really stood out to you?”
“Um,” Niall says. “I guess – ‘Hair Tie,’ maybe?”
“That’s my favorite too!” Harry exclaims. “It’s the chorus, right? Oh, and the first verse, where I talk about how I wish they wouldn’t snap so often? I keep getting that bit stuck in my head.”
“Yeah.” Niall’s voice sounds a little odd, sort of strangled. Must be the connection again. “How much are they paying you for this?”
“Eighty million, I think,” Harry says. “And I have to do two more albums. I think it’ll be okay, though. I’ve still got loads of ideas for songs.”
After they hang up Harry pulls up the folder on his laptop again and looks at it. He feels that warm, contented glow of satisfaction all over, the kind of feeling he gets after he’s done a really good show or made someone faint from how much they love him.
STUFF FROM MY FLAT (DEMO VERSION)
1. Pencil Eraser
2. Ring I Found On the Tube
3. Russian Nesting Doll
4. Mum’s Cheese Platter
5. Hair Tie
6. Old Timey Fountain Pen
7. Paintbrush
8. Antique Vegetable Peeler with Engraved Handle, Discovered in a Shop in Covent Garden, on the 2nd of August in the Year 2016
9. Soap (Lemon)
10. A Rock from My Garden
He clicks over to his email and opens a new message to jeff@fullstopmgmt.com, subject line IT’S FINISHED!!!!! After he’s sent the zip file he settles back into his chair and picks up the guitar he’s still not quite managed to learn how to play, even though Niall’s been giving him weekly lessons over Skype. Jeff and Glenne are coming by for dinner in a couple hours, but he’s got time to work on something.
Smiling to himself, he strums the opening chords of a new song he’s been working on – just a little something called ‘Paperweight.’ He thinks Niall’s really going to love this one.
louis: the one who got out of the car and went over to the menu board and loudly read off items to everyone still in the car
liam: the driver who just pointed out the window and asked for specific menu items to be read out
harry: the one who got out of the car and screamed at the car in front of them “WHERE IS THE AUX CORD I NEED IT”
niall: the one who got out wearing socks, no shoes, then climbed back in the car through the window
what he says: i met a man on the tube said harry’s a good actor
what he means: every time i settle down in front of the telly i’ve got harry ringing me up to read his lines at me. ‘help, i’m dying, i’ve got a scrape on my wrist,’ that sort of thing. i’ve told him if he needs help, ask the director. i’ve told him he’s got an assistant for this sort of thing. then he tells me it’s me he needs and what do i think about the Method? he can stuff his method, i’ve got a match to watch and rory mcilroy on the other line.
what he says: the first i saw of harry’s haircut was in a picture online
what he means: when harry cut his hair he sent me a lock of it tied in a black velvet ribbon. there was a note with it, something about keeping hair in lockets and soldiers going to war and sweethearts left behind. i didn’t have time to read the whole thing, so i just filed it for now. i call it a file…it’s a biscuit tin labeled ‘harry’s weird shite.’ i’m gonna sort through it all someday.
Director: So we’ve teased this intricately plotted narrative with the last two videos, so I’m thinking we finally-
Alex: I want to dance.
Director: Uh… okay. Maybe. But first-
Alex: No. I’ll just dance.
Director: But-
Alex: Dance.
Miles: Now, now, Al, let’s be realistic… We’ll need rose petals first.
this is one HUNDRED percent exquisite and correct except i posit that liam CAN read a map, he just doesn’t understand scale
everyone’s in the tags like “what about narry?” what ABOUT narry??? girl we all love this petunia bouquet of a pairing but are we thinking of the same…..how exactly would that…..are u sure u mean narry?
this guy
plus this guy?
this narry??? is this the………is this how they
is this how they win the amazing race
#maybe if the entire route was downhill they could win by gravity #niall trying so hard to get somewhere while harry suggests various reasons they should have sex instead of going there #THAT’S NOT HOW U WIN HARRY #NARRY #2 dolphins making love in a kiddie pool (@sashayed)
326 Miles 