Here’s the thing about me;

listen. it’s 2018. it’s time to admit, finally, that bbc sherlock is, in fact, bad, and was only good because we watched it when we were 15 and didn’t know how to dismantle scripts that SOUND clever but are really just gold-flake covered shit

sweetniallofmine:

Them: So what happens at a 1D concert?

Me:

dragongf:

BYE

nis-otps:

lilsparrow72:

glitterpen1s:

you know that feeling when you’re on your period and you take a shower and you feel so clean and relieved and nice but then as soon as you turn the water off it’s a race against you, gravity and time

I swear the last line made it feel like the plotline of an action film

It is a period drama

ayajalil:

harry showing anne what he’s packing for tour

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

dog owner culture

dog owner culture is

1 sec i can’t fucking breathe gimme a

dog owner culture is chasing your 6 mo husky puppy around the yard in the dark in your underwear for 20 fucking minutes cause she stole an avocado from the kitchen counter & you’re afraid she’ll choke on the pit. fuck

me walking into a cvs at midnight: i need to lift a curse
employee: aisle 5
me: thanks

how i wanna push every member of one direction onto the ground, in specific and unnerving detail

clarz:

harry: i walk up to him, furiously and with purpose. he is probably in the middle of telling a long, meandering, and ultimately disappointing story to yet another person who will end up falling in love with him anyway. he’s decked out in full gucci. i put both of my hands directly on his chest and PUSH him, firmly and directly, into a very wet and very deep puddle of mud. i help him up and wipe him off with more of his gucci, which i brought from his house expressly for this purpose, then slap him softly but definitively on the cheek and walk away.

niall: he is standing with both arms raised above his head, either cheering for some sporting event or holding a beer and making a particularly enthusiastic toast. i come running at him, full tilt, from AT LEAST 50 feet away, and barrel into him in some kind of tackle-hug hybrid, right as he’s mid-laugh. he’s warm and my arms are around him and i just lie there on the floor on top of him while he laughs.

louis: he skateboards by me, probably shouting something incomprehensible at someone very far away. i trip him with a stick. he falls over. he doubles back around to scream obscenities at me. it’s honestly the greatest thing that’s ever happened.

liam: i have cajoled/bullied him into carrying me around on his back all day. he is hauling me good-naturedly through the grocery store when i spot a particularly good-looking peach. instead of asking liam to stop, i try to pull a drive-by and lean out to grab it as we pass. i lean out too far, unbalancing liam, and he, the peaches, and me all fall to the floor in a heap. the heap, collectively, smells very good and tastes very sweet.

zayn: i sock him in the face, there’s nothing else to do. he’s standing there looking like he’s in a broody gq photoshoot, even though he is actually stood in the middle of a fluorescently-lit low-end department store aisle, and i run past him and punch him square in the jaw. my hand hurts. he doesn’t even fall down, just mumbles “ow” in his bradford accent and continues to look beautiful. i am livid.