SCOTTSBLUFF, NE—Saying they could now fully explore their hypothesis that you deserve way better, scientists at the corner table of Marty’s Pub received a four-beer grant Thursday to complete their analysis on why he’s not good enough for you. According to the researchers, the much-needed infusion of alcohol will enable them to definitively prove that he doesn’t treat you right and that this relationship needs to end now because he’s all that’s holding you back from being happy. With the data evaluated, the bar table scientists told reporters that they could then offer recommendations for applying their research, including going on a date with Marc, who’s really great even if he’s a little awkward. At press time, the scientists’ groundbreaking study had earned them a prestigious award for being the best fucking friends anyone could have, which also garnered them a generous four-shot prize.
instead of actually writing an essay.. i wrote a thing on how to write an essay (woah meta) & added some pictures of my plans so u can see what i actually mean!! enjoy my friends i hope this is useful to someone
I thought a drunk Niall atop someone’s shoulders with his shirt unbuttoned all the way down to his navel while singing along to his own song was something out of one of my wildest fever dreams, but, no, that is 100% a thing that happened in real life.
326 Miles 