awkwardmermaidhair:

john-mulaney:

John Mulaney stops by The Tonight Show

God what a mood

thestylesgifs:

Catching a Haribo at first attempt @ London, England

thedailystyles:

harris_reed: Smiling with the two most supportive people! I love you mom thank you for always believing in me, accepting me and pushing me, and thank you @harrystyles for being so just so incredible 🖤
And to my guardian angel @harry_lambert

runthatbymeonemoretime:

richardalexanderrr:

basing a foreign speaker’s intelligence on how fluent they are in a foreign language is so ignorant

As my dad always says, “Anyone who speaks with an accent knows one more language than you.”

Fanfiction Written By Young People

lifeineroticapublishing:

emilysidhe:

Freelance worker lives in huge, gorgeous house/apartment in expensive area despite never seeming to be working

Characters work 8-5 office job with hour-long commute, but go to bed no earlier than midnight and get up in time for morning sex and long, leisurely cooked breakfasts every day

Do these characters even have jobs?

Single parent has way more communication with child’s teacher than is normal; leads to dating; administration somehow has no problem with this.

“I know I could never afford this mansion, but it’s OK I inherited it. No, paying property taxes isn’t difficult on my salary. I don’t even know how much the place is worth. Are property taxes a thing?”

There are two levels of cooking skills: gourmet food every time no recipe, and sets pot of boiling water on fire somehow. No one is ever in between these two skill sets. People on each level always end up dating each other.

Despite the gourmet meals described needing like seven pots to cook, no one ever does dishes.

Character shares a bottle of wine with their date (2 and half glasses each), and they both get falling-down drunk.

Later, one of them drinks an entire bottle of whiskey by themselves and does not die.

Oh my god

valencing:

sleepingexplorer:

221bloodnun:

love-in-mind-palace:

green-violin-bow:

lockedinjohnlock-podfics:

dorkilybeautiful:

k-vichan:

mittensmorgul:

prairiedust:

hazeldomain:

prairiedust:

hazeldomain:

whitmerule:

soupernabturel:

majesticduxk:

So last week I tried moaning every time I ate something delicious.

It was vaguely uncomfortable and unnatural

I actually love the idea of doing this trying out fanfic/literary cliche’s out in real life, kinda wanna make up a list and undertake it as a challenge.

don’t forget to make your butthole flutter today

Guess someone’s eye color from 20 feet away.

Be careful with these. I started reading fanfiction three years ago and now I have to toe my shoes off to get my feet out.

But do you pad across rooms?

Yes but I often give away my position when I huff.

FYI, I’m smirking at all y’all.

I’m resisting the urge to card my fingers through everybody’s hair.

This is as good a time as any to admit that right now I smell like coffee, sandalwood soap, and something uniquely myself.

Ah, but are you holding a breath you are unaware of?

I just stretched lazily and showed a strip of pale skin where my t-shirt rode up but there was no-one here to stare at it, speechless, so I don’t know if it even counted

I sigh thousand times a day. Hope that is enough.

I was forced to tear my eyes away, yet drawn toward this by my body’s own volition.

i have ghosted my fingertips across countertops, along my own jawline, down the curtains’ edges. i am ghosting them across the nape of your neck, right now.

i’m looking at this post through my eyelashes and it’s too much and not enough.