Most women cannot distinguish between the feeling of “love” and what
happens when a young male has floppy hair that falls over his eyes;
truly lovable men have eyes hidden so deeply behind a cascade of floppy
chestnut hair they are effectively blind
It’s good if a man is skittish and terrified of affection, like a
beautiful horse that appears on the edge of a frozen lake one day and
you have to tame it by bringing it a handful of food every day until it
slowly comes to learn your scent (but with sex)
Women only love men with CROOKED SMILES, a man who smiles with
his mouth all in a straight line might as well be DEAD; a male smile
should resemble nothing on earth so much as the Leaning Tower of Pisa,
Lombard Street, a lightning bolt, a scarecrow with a broken neck, or two
palm trees leaning against each other to form a big “X”
Whenever possible, a man should have a cruel mouth,
particularly if he has blue eyes – the bluer the eyes, the crueler the
mouth; a man with cornflower-blue eyes should have a mouth like a
genocide
If he can’t have a cruel mouth, he should have strong and callused
hands, sort of rough but surprisingly gentle, like if it turned out his
hands were actually made of doves, and he should be sort of dim but
incredibly dedicated to you, he should be so dumb he can’t remember
fractions but every day he builds you a four-poster sleigh bed out of
oak and devotion and needs to have wordless but noisy sex on the hour
and also needs help signing his own name
326 Miles 