halalbarbie:

changelingsandothernonsense:

halalbarbie:

all i really want in life is to be a 16th century italian noblewoman tangled in a stringent love affair with a corrupt and lascivious cardinal who my boring husband goes to for confession. Titian paints me weekly and i always look great

And no one will ever know that you had small pox in your teens… That is how great a painter you have there. 😉 Avoid the annual plague outbreaks in major European cities. Your grandparents managed to survive it so you might be lucky.

And hope that your wealthy and high standing husband never ever finds out about your lover… You might be spared but he will not have any more fingernails… Or guts… Or limbs… Or balls. He may also have had syphilis…

Basically I wish I was able to romanticise history… But my brain is a massive asshole and I just can’t do it.

………………….anyways michelangelo was the chief architect of my palazzo and raphael ate me out in 1508