Mick Greenberg and Nils Sjöberg Get Coffee Together

valencing:

[Mick is
drinking green juice. Nils has a skinny caramel latte. Both are wearing large
dark glasses.]

Mick: So
like…thanks so much for agreeing to meet with me, Mr. Sjöberg. You’re probably
really busy.

Nils: [nods,
sips latte]

Mick: I just
found your song super inspiring—I’m a writer too, you might have heard of me?
No? Okay, anyway. The lyrics “everybody’s watching her but she’s looking
at you-oo ooh ooh,” you know what I’m talking about?

Nils [heavy
Swedish accent]: Yes.

Mick: Totally
don’t answer if it makes you uncomfortable, but do you mind saying who exactly
is the “you” she’s looking at? Like did you or maybe Rihanna have anyone
particular in mind?

Nils: My words
are universal. They never refer to
anybody in particular.

Mick: Okayyyyy.
Yeah. I respect that. I was just wondering if that “you” could possibly
be a pop star…or an actor, an aspiring actor, but never mind. So what do you
actually consider your artistic inspirations?

Nils: Glaciers.

Mick: Wow.
Because that makes me think about coldness, like ice, like an icy heart. Hey, you
know the video for Bad Blood where Catastrophe—

Nils: No.

Mick: Like it’s
very snowy outside and she has this adorable probably Scandinavian furry hood on­––

Nils: I don’t
know her.

Mick: Oh, me
neither. Definitely not! Who could ever really know Taylor Swift, am I right? I mean, I guess we know she likes
English actors, hahaha… It’s funny, some people that she might’ve
underestimated in the past are actually actors now too, very prestigious
projects, like maybe not Shakespeare
yet or whatever… Everyone has hidden talents.

Nils [looks at him
kindly, pityingly]: I’m sure you’re a very good writer, Mr. Greenberg. Now if you’ll excuse me…

Mick: Call me Mick. Oh, you’re–you’re leaving? Could I send you a demo?

Nils [reaching out to touch Mick’s cheek]: Take care of yourself, Mick.

[Nils Sjöberg
strides out of the coffee shop in a way that is sexy and assertive, but also endearingly studied and kind of awkward tbh.]

Mick: [singing
very very quietly] You-oo, ooh-ooh, you-oo, ooh-ooh…

[He breaks off
and stares into space for a very long time.]