Seven Imagines Inspired By the News That To Avoid Inconveniencing a Tattoo Artist, Harry Had the Word “Brasil” Permanently Inked On His Thigh

valencing:

1. A blushing bride is escorted down
the aisle by her father, only to find that there is no groom waiting for her at
the altar. Then Harry Styles pops up in
the first pew. “I’ll marry you!” he announces, adding that he can’t stand to see anyone disappointed. The groom shows up ten minutes after the ceremony
complaining about having been delayed in traffic. Harry Styles, not wanting him
to feel left out, marries him too.

2. A surgeon arrives at the hospital to
remove a kidney from a donor and finds Harry sitting by an empty bed. When the donor fails to materialize, Harry
volunteers to have his own kidney removed instead. “Hate to have you put
on those cute scrubs for nothing,” Harry remarks.

3. A contractor travels a considerable
distance to hang wallpaper in the parlour of a private home but is distressed
to find only a vacant lot at the given address. Harry Styles happens to notice the frustrated contractor
as he jogs past and, in the absence of a parlour, suggests that he be
wallpapered instead.

4. A fine gentleman enters Regent’s
Park at dawn for a duel, only to find that the card cheat he challenged is nowhere in sight. Then Harry Styles appears from behind a tree and offers to
stand in his place. “After all,” says Harry, “do you really want
to go home without mortally wounding someone?”

4. A dog bounds into Harry’s dressing
room pursuing a tennis ball, but neither he nor Harry can find it anywhere. The
dog whines disappointedly. “Go ahead then,” Harry says. The dog picks
him up and trots happily back to her mistress with Harry Styles in her jaws.

5. Harry Styles is sitting in the Oval
Office when Barack Obama strides in to sign an important treaty. Then an aide whispers some bad news in his
ear. The treaty, it seems, has gone missing. Harry Styles, in a gesture of
international goodwill, puts himself at the president’s disposal. President
Obama promptly signs him, folds him up, and puts him in his pocket for
safekeeping.

7. It is an exciting morning at NASA; a
small unmanned spacecraft is to be launched into orbit. Everyone is gathered to
witness the launch when unfortunately someone detects a fatal error in the
design of the spacecraft. Harry generously offers to be launched into space
instead. Everybody cheers.

Works Cited